


Real

by Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Past Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 19:33:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20822648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount/pseuds/Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount
Summary: Rachel overhears a sensitive conversation---Unbeta'd as fuck. I will get to it when i get to it, really sorryUPDATE: it took me almost a year, but I did it 🤡





	Real

**Author's Note:**

> I paused halfway thru SE06 E10 so I could bang this out before canon ruined everything

The coldness of dread spread to her extremities, freezing her feet to the floor as she stood stock still in front of the crack of the door. 

The quiet murmur of the two voices on the other side only chilled her further. She could see everything. They didn't see her.

"I can't go back," Mike had said, as soon as he had opened the door to greet Harvey. That had kept her from going out to stand by Mike, from intruding, because she knew. Knew that this was some important. That Jessica had just left, and apart from her, Mike had been one of his closest friends. 

"Bull-shit," Harvey had almost shouted, quieted probably by a sharp glance from Mike. 

"Rachel's sleeping."

"Bullshit," Harvey had said again, almost a mumble. He moved onto view, and then Rachel concluded he was drunk, only because he was missing a tie. Her suspicion was confirmed a second later when Mike scoffed and tried unsuccessfully to herd him out the door, "Come back when you're sober. We can discuss this again like adults, Harvey."

"Fuck adults, Mike. Jesus, fuck this. Fuck you."

"Harvey, what do you want me to say that I haven't already? Before I was arrested, before I did _time_, I resigned. Look, when you said you wanted me back, that you missed me at work, I almost forgot why that was. But- I came back home. I had dinner with Rachel-"

Harvey seemed restless as Mike said all this, trying to barge past Mike into the apartment amd Mike struggled to hold him back. 

"Jesus Harvey, stop-" He placed a firm hand on his chest, and Harvey did stop, staring at it. Rachel wondered if she should go to bed. But she didn't. She wanted to be able to intervene conveniently if anything went haywire, and she was sure it would. 

"Man, I had dinner with Rachel. I watched the shitty television she likes. We laughed, we went to bed. And I remembered-" Mike implored, trying to catch Harvey's eye, which was still focused on Mike's hand, "I remembered why I resigned, Harvey. It was for her. And me. I love-" 

Harvey grabbed Mike's wrist and kissed it. 

Rachel froze. 

Almost immediately Mike yanked his hand out of Harvey grip. "What the fuck?" 

Harvey grabbed it back, this time pulling it down to his side, and forcefully putting his forhead to Mike's. 

"Stop saying shit like that, Mike. It does break my heart, you know. Just come back. I need you."

Rachel rocked back, very slightly on her heels, but internally she felt like someone had taken a bat to the back of her knees. 

Mike leaned back, trying to put distance between them, even if he wasn't able to extricate his wrist from Harvey's grasp. 

"No, you don't," he said, gentler than she'd ever heard him. "You will be fine. That's how you are. Besides-" He finally took his wrist back, "I've been saying it since I managed to get Rachel to go out with me," He had said casually. "No point acting like it's a shock now."

There was a silence, and for the longest time that lasts thirty seconds, Rachel didn't see anything, but in the quiet she picked up the sound of restrained sobs. 

Harvey's head appears on Mikes shoulder, and Mike seemed as shocked as she was, because it took him a moment to react. He finally decided to pat Harvey on the back comfortingly. 

"It's not like you're never gonna see us again. Holy shit. We're still frie-" 

"-the fuck up," he whispered hoarsely. 

"Wh-" 

Slowly at first but then quicker, almost violently, Harvey marches Mike against the wall in two seconds, and it takes another two seconds for Rachel's mind to process because when she blinks Harvey is kissing him. And it takes two seconds for the dread to root her to the floor. 

In this moment, she can't think, but she can feel. And all she's registering is the dread. 

Mike tries to pull away but is obstructed by the wall. Harvey moves down to his neck, so easily, so practiced-

They were close. Yeah, they had always been close. Not- no, not. Not like this though (or had they?) never like this. 

Mike wrenches himself away with a gasp, and a similar sound escapes Harvey, though somehow sounding much more wretched. 

Rachel notices blankly that he hadn't stopped crying. Now Mike looks like he's about to cry too. 

"Jesus _fuck_, Harvey." It starts off angry but the rest is undermined by the break in his voice. 

"_You_ said you were fine with it," Mike hisses, jabbing a hard finger at Harvey. Harvey falls back limply. "I told you, Rachel was okay with _everything_, I told you I wanted something _real_ with her, and you said you were _happy_ for me, you dick.

You don't get to just do this shit, because Jessica left and you're mad _I don't want to fucking work at the firm anymore_! Does it even compute how fucked that is?"

"I'm-" 

"Drunk? Bull_shit_, Harvey. I was trying to give you an _out_. Even drunk, you dont pull stunts like this." 

"It was real for me," Harvey whispers, so quietly Rachel wasn't even sure she'd heard right. 

Mike is stunned into silence. The silence carries. 

"R-real," he stutters. And that, more than almost anything, is what shocks Rachel. Because she's never heard Mike stutter before. 

"Harvey." Mike states. Once again, gentle, though a different kind of gentle. More edgy. More corners and sides to this gentle. 

"Harvey. I don't know if you remember this, but, I asked you, twice. If you wanted whatever that was, to become 'real'. Do you remember that?" 

Harvey's breathing starts to become irregular. 

"I hope you do remember, because both times you laughed me out of the room. Now _that_ broke _my_ heart. Twice."

"God, I wasn-" 

"You made it _clear_, Harvey, that it was going to be a strictly no strings attached type deal. It took me a while, but I eventually got reconciled with that. And when Rachel said she'd be my girlfriend, and I told you that _whatever that was_ was going to stop, you _said_ you were happy for me."

"I was, Mike."

"So what, Harvey? So? What the fuck was that just now?" 

Harvey doesn't say anything and Mike scoffs. 

"Oh God, that is so _you_." He seems to forget that Rachel is supposed to be sleeping and his volume rises. 

"You were so preoccupied with your own crap that you were willing to say whatever fucked up shit you thought would get me to go back to Specter Litt to make you feel a little less lonely. And maybe I'd _blow you_ while I was at it. Who cares about how that 'it was real to me' shit would make me feel, right?" 

"Mike," and almost more than anything else, Rachel feels sick at how weak Harvey Specter's voice sounds. "I meant it. I was... I couldn't handle it. It's fucked, but it's true."

Now Harvey is imploring. "I couldn't. I laughed those times because I thought- I."

Mike steps back fully. His face is set in stone, and only Rachel knows that his face only does that when he's scared. 

"Harvey, even if- even if you wanted the times we fucked in the office, or in random bars or random clubs, even if you wanted that to constitute a real relationship, _you don't get to have an emotional revelation now._"

Harvey's breath hitches, and Rachel's glad she can't see his face. 

"I love Rachel, Harvey."

Suddenly, Rachel's feet unstick. She opens the door, and puts on the performance of her life. 

She stifes a loud yawn and stickes her head around the door. 

"What's going- Harvey? Hey... What's up?" 

They both freeze, Harvey's shoulders stiffening. 

She steps out, concern on her face and in her voice. "Is something going on at the firm?" 

"No," Mike says cheerfully, so easily in fact that Rachel would have fell for it if she hadn't seen it. "Harvey dropped by just to tell me he was going to respect my decision. Really heartfelt," he jokes. "You'd think he just got diagnosed with prostrate cancer."

"Why is it always with the prostrate jokes," Harvey mutters indignantly.

Rachel can see how they managed to fool everyone. 

**Author's Note:**

> Idk why my brain does this


End file.
